I solemnly declare that if you use this contact form I will not do ANY of the following.
I will not store your details.
I will not copy your Maths homework, or your flyest dance moves.
I will not put you on any mailing lists.
I will not steal any delicious tangy chutney from your house.
And if ever we are in a café together, I will not embarrass you by doing eleven very loud armpit farts.
Thanks for glistening. Gaah! I MEAN LISTENING. Thanks for listening.